Saturday, December 31, 2011

Best Year-End List Ever: Top 10 “Stupid Stoner Stories”

The Top Ten “Stupid Stoner Stories” of 2011

10. Man’s dog throws out hash stash for cops

It’s almost unfair of me to classify poor Joel Dobrin as “stupid” for this story. Except that I always counsel tokers to store their weed in the trunk when they’re on the road, which might have prevented this unfortunate traffic stop.

9. Note to marijuana smugglers: Make sure your trailer tags are current!

If I had an ounce for every time I’ve read a story about someone getting busted with weed because they were driving a car with expired tags (or a busted taillight, or were speeding), I could replace the weed that was seized in this traffic stop. Is there not enough profit in smuggling to afford registration renewals?

8. Locksmiths don’t check warrants or care about your marijuana… but cops do!

Trust me. My brother was a locksmith. They aren’t interested in your “failure to appear” bench warrants and your nickle bag of weed. When you lock your keys in the car, locksmiths are more worried you will freak out at the cost of your careless mistake.

7. Man fails drug test for cocaine, offers pot bribe to test taker to ignore it

Perhaps this is better classified as a “Crazy Cokehead” story…

6. Don’t call 911, trust NORML: Growing pot will get you busted

I am just stunned that this guy didn’t get the memo that growing pot is illegal. Just so none of you feel the urge to call 911 for grow crime information…

5. Dad Tells Cops 14-Year-Old Stole Weed From His Son

The “stupid stoners” that bother me the most are the parents who involve their kids with marijuana. It is the worst possible portrayal of our community and “What About the Children?!?” is one of the few powerful propaganda messages that prohibitionists have left. So remember, this only exists because marijuana is illegal (and therefore insanely profitable) and not bought and sold in regulated stores that check ID.

4. Parents arrested for video of 2-year-old smoking marijuana

Remember that this time of year, parents all across North America will consume beer and wine and spirits, often leaving their bottles and glasses in easy reach of the children. Many pictures will be taken and videos will be filmed – and you won’t read any headlines about those parents going to court.

3. Wandering toddler on road with bag of weed gets national coverage
LOCH SHELDRAKE, N.Y. — Authorities have charged a 30-year-old New York woman with endangering the welfare of a child after police say her toddler wandered into an upstate road clutching a bag of marijuana......Get The Rest


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